When I died, Life began

My unplanned vacation to the Great Beyond

They say relationships can be a rollercoaster, but mine took an unexpected detour to the ultimate destination. Thanks to my ex-boyfriend's misguided attempt at playing Grim Reaper, I found myself on an all-expenses-paid trip to the brink of existence. No luggage, no itinerary, just me and the big question mark of the great beyond. Who knew it would take such a drastic 'checkout' to realize I'd been staying at the wrong hotel all along? Turns out, my unplanned vacation from the land of the living was actually a one-way ticket to truly experiencing life.

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Now, you might be wondering how I ended up on this impromptu journey to the great beyond. Buckle up because this story is quite the ride – and I promise, it's far more thrilling than any vacation package you'll find in a travel brochure.

To fully understand this unplanned excursion, we need to rewind a bit. Picture this: a small town in Finland, a young girl with big dreams, very low self-esteem, and a plot twist that would make even the most dramatic soap operas blush.

You see, my trip to the afterlife wasn't exactly a spontaneous adventure. It was more like the grand finale of a long-running show called 'How Not to Live Your Best Life.' But don't worry – like any good drama, this one has a killer comeback story.

Before we embark on this whirlwind tour of my life's most pivotal moment, I want to let you in on a little secret. What you're about to read is the appetizer - a light, bite-sized version of a much larger, more intense story. I'm currently penning my memoir Expired, which dives deep into the raw, unfiltered emotions and experiences that have shaped my journey.

This post is like the movie trailer - exciting, intriguing, but just scratching the surface. The memoir? That's the full-length feature, complete with all the gritty details, tear-jerking moments, and soul-stirring revelations that couldn't fit into this sneak peek.

Curious for more? Hungry for the full story? I'll be releasing chapters of my memoir as I write them. Subscribe to be the first to read each new chapter as it's unveiled. Trust me, if you think this story is wild, you haven't seen anything yet!

So, let's start at the beginning. Grab a cup of coffee (or perhaps some Finnish vodka – I won't judge), and let me take you on a journey from the shores of Hanko to the pearly gates and back again. Trust me, by the end of this tale, you'll never look at life – or death – the same way again.

Rocky Road to the Bottom

Growing up in Hanko, Finland, I was the poster child for 'how to internalize criticism.' My specialty? Believing I wasn't worthy of love. At 16, I met my first boyfriend. Think less 'Prince Charming' and more 'Grumpy from Snow White' with a drinking problem. Quiet, stoic, and with a penchant for alcohol, he was the only one who didn't push me away. Little did I know this would turn into a 9-year nightmare of weekly (sometimes daily) physical abuse. I thought this was love - clearly, I needed to update my dictionary.

Then BAM! A plot twist: at 21, I developed stomach cancer. Two years to live, they said. As if being young and in an abusive relationship wasn't complicated enough, right? Fast forward to one winter night. My boyfriend decided to play 'human punching bag' with my stomach. This was a habit of his. If you hit someone on the stomach, no matter how hard, it doesn’t leave marks. (How sad is it that I know this?) But this time was different. There was a darkness in his eyes that made the Grim Reaper look like a welcome party host. The last thing I remember is him strangling me and trying to bite off my eyebrow. Talk about leaving a lasting impression!

I got Friends on the Other Side

Suddenly, I was the star of my own out-of-body experience. Let me tell you, the view from there? Spectacular. I found myself standing by the back wall of the ER, watching a medical team working feverishly on someone. My eyes were drawn to a flat line on a monitor, that ominous, continuous tone filling the air. It took a moment for the reality to sink in - that lifeless body they were desperately trying to revive? It was me. Talk about a surreal moment!

Panic set in for a hot second, but then - whoosh! - it was gone faster than you can say "cardiac arrest." Instead, I felt wrapped in a cocoon of indescribable peace and love. Everything was okay. I was okay. And by okay, I mean better than I'd ever felt.

My senses went into superhero mode. I could hear conversations from every room in the hospital and even outside. I had 360-degree vision that would make an owl jealous. And let me tell you, everything was alive. Those trees outside? Party animals, even in the dead of Finnish winter.

Then, like in any good family reunion movie, my grandparents showed up. The love and joy I felt? Off the charts. It was like being wrapped in the warmest, coziest blanket of unconditional love, times a million.

I learned that life is one big universal play, and we're all just actors with really convincing method acting skills. Oh, and that pesky cancer? Turns out, it was just a physical manifestation of all the fear and stress I'd been bottling up. Who knew emotional baggage could be so literal? I understood that if I chose to come back, the illness would be gone. Talk about the ultimate detox!

As for the big question everyone seems to ponder - the purpose of life? Well, folks, it's simpler than you might think. It's joy. We're here to experience as much joy as we can, to expand the universe with our unique choices and views, and to play on this playground called Earth. Who knew existential revelations could be so... fun?

As I approached the 20-minute mark of my impromptu vacation in the great beyond, I had a choice to make. Stay in this blissful state or return to that tiny body (seriously, how did I ever fit in there?). Spoiler alert: I chose to come back. I hadn't lived yet, and I had a feeling the best was yet to come.

Coming Back: A Bumpy Landing

Choosing to come back was like trying to stuff the entire universe into a shoebox. My body felt impossibly small, and my emotions? Let's just say "overwhelming" doesn't even begin to cover it.

The first year after my celestial field trip wasn't exactly a walk in the park. I had moments of pure joy and elation, just like I felt on the "other side," but they zipped by quicker than a Finnish summer (it’s usually on a Tuesday). My body seemed to have forgotten how to contain such massive feelings - it was like trying to pour an ocean into a teacup.

And, oh boy, did I become an emotional sponge! Suddenly, I was feeling everyone's feelings. My neighbor's teary breakup? Felt it. The local grocer's frustration with his clumsy busboy? Yep, that anger surged through me too. Even the grass stretching towards the sun? I swear I could feel its joy. It was like being given superpowers without an instruction manual.

There were days when I felt like I was losing my marbles. I questioned my decision to come back and wondered if I'd made a cosmic oopsie. But slowly, ever so slowly, I started to get a grip on this new, hypersensitive version of myself.

I learned to control my energy field again, like a psychic superhero figuring out their powers. I built up my emotional defenses, not to shut others out, but to keep myself from drowning in a sea of secondhand feelings.

As I gained control, I began to see this place for what it truly is - the most amazing playground imaginable. Every day became an opportunity to experience something new, to feel deeply, and to spread a little bit of that otherworldly joy I'd experienced.

So, while my landing back on Earth was bumpier than a dirt road in spring, it led me to a place where I could truly appreciate the wild, wonderful ride that is life. And let me tell you, once I got my sea legs (or should I say Earth legs?), the view down here turned out to be pretty spectacular too.

Finding My Wings

Once I got the hang of my new emotional superpowers, life became one heck of a playground. I packed my bags (this time for a more conventional trip) and moved to the United States. Talk about a change of scenery!

In a plot twist that would make Hollywood jealous, I became an Oscar and Emmy-nominated makeup artist. Take that, childhood doubts! It turns out that understanding the profound beauty of life translates pretty well to making people look fabulous (or dead, which is my specialty) on screen.

But my greatest productions? My two wonderful sons. These magical creatures bring joy not just to me, but to everyone they meet. They're like walking, talking bundles of the unconditional love I experienced on the "other side."

Now, 30 years after my impromptu trip to the great beyond, I'm still riding this incredible wave called life. Do I have all the answers? Nope. But I do know that how I show up affects the entire world around me. So I've chosen to be a channel through which good flows for everyone. That's my purpose – to spread joy like it's the world's most contagious (and fabulous) disease.

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Folks, this rollercoaster ride you've just read? It's just the highlight reel. The real, uncut, behind-the-scenes story is still unfolding, and I want you to be part of it.

I'm writing a memoir that dives deep into the nitty-gritty details of my journey - the tears, the laughter, the "am I really seeing this?" moments, and the life-changing revelations. It's raw, it's real, and it's coming to you chapter by chapter.

Want to be the first to read each installment? Ready to embark on this wild journey with me? Then it's time to secure your VIP pass! For the price of a fancy coffee each month, you can subscribe and get each chapter delivered straight to your inbox. You'll be right there with me as we explore the depths of life, death, and everything in between.

But wait, there's more! (Always wanted to say that.) As a thank you for joining me on this adventure, I'm including a free guided meditation with this email. It's designed to help you tap into a bit of that otherworldly peace I experienced. Consider it your personal relaxation vacation – no near-death experience required!

So what do you say? Are you ready to spread your wings and soar into this extraordinary journey with me? Hit that subscribe button, download your meditation, and let's explore the true meaning of life together. Trust me, it's going to be one heck of a ride!

Love always,

Download your free meditation HERE